What Not to Say In a Tax Office

I will start series on a variety of topics of interest to taxpayers. Today is the start of a humorous thread.

First, as an update. I have all phone calls I can answer returned as of tonight. WDOR Voice Access issues are moving to the front burner as reconciles and other write up work is getting done. Jeff will be at the Appleton IRS office tomorrow morning and I'll man the shop solo. I plan on finishing payroll for an LLC and pay vendors for an FLP. Then I will hunt up the missing docs to finish up the Wisconsin issues.

Now, off to some tax humor.

Recently, a new client wanted us to solve all her tax woes with the snap of the fingers. In other words, she wanted to pay me $100 and force the IRS to drop the $65,000 she owes. If it were that easy I'd have a new car.

Jeff worked hard with said client to develop a realistic game plan for handling her tax situation. With the client present, Jeff calls the IRS to hammer out the details. This is where the client tells the IRS she will kill herself because of all the taxes owed.

Yes, you can see it now, can't you? Police and ambulance race to my office at the IRS request to save the taxpayer's life (to keep her alive to pay all those back taxes, lovely, aren't they?). We realized the IRS response and called the IRS and police to let them know we had things under control and that the client was just upset.

The moral: Don't threaten to harm or kill yourself or anyone else in my tax office. I am required to report this kind of activity. And if required, I'll order Jeff to do mouth-to-mouth. Ownership hath its privileges.

Later that day she calls my office back to complain she didn't get her moneys worth. Have you ever noticed the crumbling plaster in the far corner of my office? Now you know why.